Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The new episode: Fire and Ice

I'm an idiot at tech stuff. I've tried to post the new episode here,
but it's apparently too long for the blog site.

It's nearly 10 minutes long and I guess that's too much for
this blog site.

I've posted it at the other website for ISLAND that the
guys at TIM have started for me.

You can check it out at

It's a spiffy site. It has a picture of me at the top.
I didn't put the picture there, but I'm ok with it.

Sorry this one took so long to post (and to make!).
I'll get the next one out quicker.


Monday, December 7, 2009

I got into a Croation film festival

I got some good news last week: Island was accepted into a film festival
in Zagreb.

I'll be honest. I couldn't remember exactly where Zagreb was.

Here's a map:

Here's the flag of Croatia. It's red, white and blue.

Here's a guy fishing somewhere in Croatia. It looks like a cool place.

I don't know for sure if I'll be able to, but I'm going to try to go to the festival
myself. It could be amazing.

Also, I'll have a new episode ready in one or two days. I'm working on it right now.
Thanks for your patience!

Here's a photo that Elliott took of me while I was reading a text that
the German producer sent to Paul. It's about...well, it's about all
kinds of things. More on that later. I think I'm supposed to
work on it.


Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Episode #45: The Swimmer (1' 55")

First off, thanks to everyone who left the amazing notes and
sent me some really wonderful emails. They meant a lot
to me and I'm very grateful.

It's been a rough couple of weeks. I decided to take this week
off. I'd had enough of porn, of sex, of family.

I'm alone for the week until I go back to work on Monday. I've
been wandering around San Francisco, keeping to myself.

I went to City Lights Books. The guy behind the counter
told me to buy a book of short stories by John Cheever.

I'm not sure why, but the story that hit me was 'The Swimmer'.
If you want to read it, here's where you can find the whole thing
online. You could probably read it in 15 minutes.

I hope this episode isn't too strange. I needed a break
from everything.


Friday, November 13, 2009

Episode #44: "More important things" (5' 48")

I watched the video Paul made, an interview
with John.

Paul says that John wanted me to see it all.

I decided to shoot the scene. I wanted the
chance to see him, even if he wouldn't see me.


Sunday, November 8, 2009

Episode #43: Key West (3' 25")

This week has been intense. I'm dealing with it
all and decided to do it in two episodes.

Here's the first.


Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Episode #42: The Bridge (3' 21")

Paul was furious with the guys in casting for giving me
pictures of John.

Paul said "I don't give a damn whose
brother he is. Respect the model's privacy. That comes
before anything else."

They got a hell of a lecture.


Friday, October 23, 2009

Episode #41: ... (3' 05")

I guess I sort of thought this might be coming. Maybe
I'm surprised it took this long.


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Picture of me

Here's a picture of me that Elliott Wilder took the other day. I was standing in
for a photo model who didn't show up, doing Paul a favor.

Three guys ended up taking my picture. Paul, Elliott and Nick.

Given that I'd just posted an episode with photos that Paul and I take,
I thought it was only fair that I post one that got taken of me.

It was strange being on the other side of the camera. I have
to admit I didn't especially like it.

Makes me appreciate what it's like!


Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Episode #40: Our Nude Photos (1' 56")

Paul Morris loves taking photos of nude men. He'll
often hire men to pose nude, usually at the end
of the day.

Lately he's been inviting me to join him in these
photo sessions. I really enjoy them. And I think
my photos of men are very different from
his photos of men.


Wednesday, October 7, 2009

From My Mail Box

I'm taking a break this week from making a new episode. There'll be a new
one next week, though.

It turns out that I'm getting a lot of email. A lot of it is great, from guys who
like or support what I'm up to (or at least are kind of intrigued).

But there're also quite a few guys who aren't exactly fans. Here's one

Dear Sir,

The video work you do, as vapidly uninspired as it is (and as badly shot) is nevertheless relatively sexy in the sole respect that as UK TV host Russell Harty once said “ we can’t all see each other in the act of sex, so thank goodness for pornography”.

By trying to identify with Charlie Starkweather, you come across as a bloated, eyeliner-wearing, Big Mac-eating Goth, who, after being bullied by guys in gym class for being a chubby loser, decides to be all “dark” and “punk” and in essence , desperately trying to be lugubrious.

You are trying too hard and it makes you laughable.

Murder is actually not entertainment and there is genuinely nothing very “sexy” about it. I should know. I come from a long line of killers.....

My advice for you is to grow up and stop imagining yourself to be a “creature of the night”, fascinated by murder and all that the mystery of uninvited death explores....

Perhaps you need to take up a proper hobby. Run around fields and fill your lungs with air. Buy a hamster. Do some arts and crafts. Indeed anything but the faux “dark” “art” you involve yourself with.....

Like a 13 year old girl who buys a henna tattoo and who thinks herself the Queen of the Night, you are nothing but a plumber’s idea of Cleopatra.... get yourself a life.....

[name removed] M.A (Hons), M.A P.G Dip. B Sc, L Lb


I honestly have no idea how to respond to letters like this. Parts of it lost me
entirely (I'm not sure what "a plumber's idea of Cleopatra" means, exactly).
I'm impressed that the writer knew about Charlie Starkweather (a lot of guys
my age don't know who that is.)

Anyway, it was a friend back at GISH (Grand Island Senior High, where I went to school)
who called me that. I never actually called myself "Charlie Starkweather with a camera".

Well, maybe it's just a Nebraska thing.

Whatever the case, I'm happy that a guy with so many degrees took the time
to write to me.

New episode next week.

Thanks to everybody!


Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Episode #39: Jamie's Turn (2' 04")

A new episode from my life at TIM.

I hope you enjoy it!

Thanks to everyone for all the comments and
emails. Even if it's highly critical it's great
to hear from you.

I've been hearing that some of the early episodes
aren't playing right on this blog site. If you're interested
and would like a complete copy of the first 22 or 23
episode on a DVD let me know. I'll burn one for you,
no charge.

Just send me an email with your address and I'll
get it to you as soon as I can burn it.

You should probably mention that you're over 18 (or is it 21?).


Saturday, September 26, 2009

Got Into a Festival in Brasil!

I've been getting a lot of really intense and interesting emails. Some of it's
really cool. Some of it isn't. But I'm trying my best to respond to all of it.

To all the folks I seem to have royally pissed off, I'm sorry! My intention
isn't to anger or piss folks off. I'm just doing what I think is real.

I'm working on the latest episode, which should be ready by Monday or Tuesday.

And in the meantime, I got good news. "ISLAND" (a compilation of 23 episodes
chronicling the first few months I spent documenting Treasure Island Media)
has been accepted into the Brazil Mix Film Festival.

It's happening in Sao Paulo this November. And ISLAND is going to
be translated into Portuguese for it.


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Episode #38: I Kill a Hustler (3' 01")

Some crazy technical problems at a porn shoot. Cameras
not working, lights going out. But the two guys who were having sex
were incredibly patient.

My second attempt at killing a guy came out better
than the first one. It turns out it's a lot easier to kill
a man with a plastic bag than with a tie. Kill and

Thanks for all the emails and comments!


Friday, September 11, 2009

Episode #37: I Sign the Contract (3' 08")

This week I signed a contract with Treasure Island.

It's an exclusive production deal for three years. Yow!

It's nice to have some real security and income, but I have to
admit that I'm a little nervous about the commitment.

A gay friend said that he thought it was "immoral" for me
to commit to TIM. He made it sound like I was selling my
soul to the devil.

I don't think so. They're really nice guys.

Next week I've scheduled another murder. I'm hoping this one
will be better than the last!

Thanks for all the emails and the comments. I really appreciate it.


Friday, September 4, 2009

Episode #36: My First Kill (8' 02")

A lot happened this week.

A couple of actors helped me try out filming a really basic murder. It's
my first effort at killing and it's very, very lame. Just an
experiment more than anything.

I'll keep trying. The guy we killed was especially easy to work
with. I'll probably end up killing him again.

Thanks to all the guys who wrote to me this week, kicking my butt
to get this one done. I appreciate it!


Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Episode #35: Serious Liam (2' 50")

Took a break from the actors and the auditions and shot porn.

Liam Cole, the TIM producer in London, sent some videos to Paul
this week. I'm including excerpts from them.

Liam has the TIM logo tattooed on his forehead. But there are
times when he goes to some public places and has to cover it
up. He shows how he does that. I have to confess I'm
really impressed!

I've been meeting with the lawyers for TIM. The company (well,
Paul Morris mostly) is asking me to sign a contract to produce
lots more of these episodes for a year or more.
In exchange for which I get a guarantee
of complete access to everything at TIM.

And I'd be paid for it. Damn.

Thanks again for all the comments, and to the guys
who've written to me. I try to get back to everyone but I'm
not great at email!


Monday, August 17, 2009

Episode #34: Big Emotions (5' 12")

Here's the latest episode. It starts off and finishes with
guys getting emotional about having sex.

In the middle is the incredibly awkward talk between Sergei (the guy who
auditioned for Paul's project) and Blake Burnett, one of the
suits who works for Paul.

Their conversation was so intense that I transcribed it
word for word. Then I had actors perform it as an
audition for one of my own projects.

Confused yet? This episode has a lot of stuff in it.

I hope you like it! Feel free to write to me and let me
know what you think.



Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Episode #33: Sergei's Life (7' 50")

I'm working hard on Paul's new video. It's going to be
called "Bone Head". I really like the name.

In the meantime, Sergei videotaped his daily life for
48 hours. This episode has footage from the porn
scene I'm working on and Sergei's footage of himself.

Hope you enjoy it. It's the longest episode I've made so far,
timing in at nearly 8 minutes.


Thursday, July 30, 2009

Episode #32: Tragedy and Decision (4' 29")

I'm editing a really complex porn scene. In the meantime
Paul made choices for his non-porn project. I'm still
completely in the dark about it, though.

Thanks to all you guys who have written to me. Sorry
if it takes a while for me to get back to you. San Francisco
and porn take a lot of time!


Friday, July 24, 2009

Episode #31: Paul's Auditions (4' 16")

A real-world "fashion model" came in to jack off for the camera. And Paul had
more non-porn auditions. I don't know where he's going with the

My life at Treasure Island is never boring. Ever.


Friday, July 17, 2009

Episode #30: Odd Auditions (3' 10")

These days I'm mostly shooting porn for TIM. But lately I've
also been shooting auditions for Paul Morris. I'd like to know what they're for, but
at this point I don't.


Friday, June 26, 2009

Episode #29: Paul Morris is a Demon (2' 34")

Paul and I watched the footage I shot in Chicago. Paul is incredibly demanding
and insists that we work hard to capture the energy of the sex.

It's not easy. At one point Paul got furious with me.

I got a two-hour lecture. Not the first, not the last. I'll keep working
on it.


Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Episode #28: The Mystery of Liam (2' 24")

Paul Morris sent me to IML in Chicago to shoot porn. I
was really looking forward to meeting Liam Cole. He's the London
producer for TIM. He was intense.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Episode 27: sometimes blood happens (3' 01")

It's inevitable that sometimes guys bleed during a shoot. Here are a few moments
when that happens, and how guys react.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Sunday, April 26, 2009

New Episode Coming This Week

I'm finally getting back to making episodes about my life in San Francisco
and my times at Treasure Island. Sorry about the long delay. I've
been "processing" a lot of changes and information.

Thanks to all of you who've written to me with encouragement
and advice. I take what you say very seriously.

So anyway, there should be a new installment within a coupla days.


Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Episode #25: me again (1' 29")

End of one chapter. Beginning of another.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Episode #24: Milk (4' 52")

A crazy shoot with the guys. I don't think I've
ever seen anything quite like this.

Episode #23: Milk, preparing (1' 13")

The guys are preparing for an unusual scene. I'm helping.

Jules contacted me again.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Episode #22: Matt and Pete (3' 31")

Matt and Pete are---were---salesmen for the company.

Here's how things changed for both of them.

Sorry about the delay between episodes! I've
been lagging...

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Episode #21: The Carlos Solo (1' 38")

Paul was impatient with everyone.

Gehno got angry.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Episode #20: Graham (3' 22")

Paul always has an assistant. They never last long.

Graham was one of them.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Episode #19: Keer Jerks Off (3' 50")

Damon Dogg shoots Keer.
Gehno chats with an employee.

This episode is a little artsy. Sorry. : )

Monday, February 2, 2009

Episode #18: Videos from Elsewhere (3' 04")

A lot of people send unsolicited videos to Paul. Here
are a few clips from some of them.

Paul has an amazing collection!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Episode #17: Damon Dogg in Atlanta (5' 01")

Damon Dogg being himself in Atlanta.

This is the last episode of Part 2.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Episode #16: Gehno and Atlanta (2' 50")

There were problems on a production trip to Atlanta.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Episode #13: Danny and Bud (2' 43")

Production Assistants Danny and Scott were friends.
But when Scott left, Danny didn't get along with
the new guy, Bud. Not at all.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Episode #12: Gehno's Training (2' 42")

Gehno observes as Paul sets up a Dan Fisk solo shoot.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Episode #11: Horror (2' 35")

The fact that Paul Morris loves horror (films)
seems to color many of the things he does.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Episode #10: Dan Fisk (2' 42")

This is the first episode of Part 2.

Dan Fisk is an "exclusive" model for TIM. That
means that he's only in TIM videos.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Episode #9: Gloryhole Shoot (1' 54")

These are some moments around a gloryhole shoot. It's
the first chance I had to actually be around porn being
made at Treasure Island.

It's the last episode of Part 1 of Island.
Next week, the beginning of Part 2.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Episode 8: Zack (sketch) (2' 28")

Here's a brief video sketch of a guy named Zack.